1. Why did the woman cross the road?

It doesn't matter, she should have been in the kitchen.

2. Why do women have smaller feet than men?

So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

3. What do you call a woman with 2 brain cells?

Pregnant

4. Why don't women wear watches?

Because there is a clock on the stove.

5. What do you do if your dishwasher is broken?

Kick her in the a%@#.